When "No" Doesn't Work

Sometimes saying "No" will not stop an attack. Listed below are several ways you can react in a sexually violent situation. Thinking about what you would do before an assault ever happens can be your best self-defense strategy.

• Act immediately. Trust your intuition and get away if possible. Don't give in to a person's sexual demands in the hope that you can divert him/her later on.
• Stay calm. Try to think clearly about all your options. Your brain is your best weapon.
• Passive resistance. Try to discourage the attacker by talking. Persuade him/her not to commit the assault by making him see you as a friend.
• Active resistance. If you are not afraid to hurt someone, fight, bite, hit, kick, scream or punch as hard as you can— this gives you the opportunity to escape. However, fighting back may anger the attacker and cause him/her to attack more brutally. When women fight back, their odds of being raped are cut in half, while their odds of being injured are raised by ten percent.
• Submitting. Do whatever you have to in order to keep yourself safe. If you feel your life is in danger, your best option may be to submit. Submitting does not mean you consented. The assault is not your fault.
• Never get in a car with a would-be attacker. Give the fight your all at the point the person is trying to take you away. Do everything to avoid being taken to another location.
• Above all, the most important thing it to survive the attack, whether it means fighting or submitting.

How to Make Your NO Heard:

1. Use the Word "NO"

• Be clear and direct. If you want the person to stop, there is no better word than "NO."
• Say it with confidence( even if you don't feel that way).
• You don't need to give any other reason. No by itself is enough.
• You don't even have to know the reason. If you just feel unsure or uncormfortable, you can still say no.

2. Make It Loud and Clear

• Look the person in the eye.
• Make your voice firm.
• Make your face serious. Look like you mean it
• If the person isn't listening, say "NO" again- Louder!
• Say it as many times as it takes.

3. Use Body Language

• Put both hands in front of you in a "stop" position.
• Stand up straight.
• If you are sitting or lying down, stand up and move away.
• If you need to, walk away.

4. Follow Through

• Keep your message clear. Say, "No, this is not OK with me."
• Trust yourself. Don't let him or her try to change your mind.
• Even if you really like the perosn, you have the right to say no to any activity - even if it hurts his/her feelings
• Offer an alternative. Say, "Let's go to a movie or a party instead."
• Even if you've been kissing or making out, you can say no to sex.
• Don't stay in a situation where it will be hard for no to be respected. Leave (by yourself if you need to).

5. Practice

• Try saying no in front of the mirror.
• Check out the way you are standing, your voice and the look on your face.
• Would you take yourself seriously? If not, change the way you are saying it.
• If you're still not sure how to say no, ask a friend to help!
• Saying no gets easier with practice.

6. Fight Back

• If the person won't take no for an answer and you can't talk your way out, fight back.
• Use al of your strength to push him/her away.
• Repeat "NO." Yell for help.
• Get away and go where there are other people.
• If you don't feel like you can say no or fight back, take a self-defense class and practice.
• Remember, if the person woni't listen to no, it's not your fault!

Do you want to say NO to sex, but are afraid you can't?

Every woman has the right to make her own decisions about her body! And all women who say no to sex have their own reasons. Some reasons are:

• You just don't want to!
• You're worried about AIDS of herpes or some other sexually transmitted diseases.
• You don't have birth control and you don't want to get pregnant.
• You don't know the person well enough.
• You want it to be more romantic.
• You want to wait until you're married.

If you do not want to have sex or if you are unsure about having sex for any reason,
You Have the Right to Say NO!

• You can say "NO" even if you have had sex before.
• You can say "NO" even if you have been making out and things have gone a little too far.
• You can say "NO even if it seems like your friends are saying yes.

Refusal Skills

YOU CAN SAY NO

Have you ever felt pressured to have sex and weren't sure how to say no? Are you afraid that it might happen sometime? You are not alone. Many women feel pressured to have sex when tehy don't want to. But you can say NO!