Especially for Men

• Not having sex does not mean you are not a “real man.” It is not to “score”
  on a date.
  
• A woman who turns you down for sex is not necessarily rejecting you as a person.
  
• No one asks to be raped. A woman does not deserve to have her body used in a way she does not want even if:
• You think she was teasing you and leading you on
• She was dressing sexy, flirting or showing you affection
• You think women enjoy being forced to have sex or want to be persuade
• She is under the influence of drugs and alcohol
• You’ve had sex with her before
  
• If you are getting a mixed message from a woman, clarify what she wants.
  
• Don’t fall for the common stereotype that when a woman says “no” she really means “yes”. If a woman tells you she doesn’t want sexual contact, believe her. Don’t see it as a challenge. If you do not accept a woman’s “no,” even if she says it shyly, you might risk raping someone whom you thought meant “yes”
  
• There is no such thing as a woman “owing” you sex no matter how much money or time you spend on her. A human is not for sale.
  
• Your desires may be beyond your control, but your actions are within your control. Sexual excitement does not justify forced sex. Realize that forcing a woman to have sex against her will is rape, a violent crime with serious consequences. In addition to serving time in prison or the youth authority, a rapist must register as a sex offender for the rest of his life and must inform potential employers of this.
  
• Be aware that having sex with someone who is mentally or physically incapable of giving consent is legally defined as rape. If you have sex with a woman who is drugged, intoxicated, passed out, incapable of saying no or unaware of what is happing around her, you can be charged with the crime of rape.
  
• In group situations, be prepared to resist pressure from friends to be participate in violent or criminal acts. It is never okay to perform an undesirable, unethical, immoral or illegal act just because you think your friends will think better of you. Never be drawn into a gang rape—at parties, fraternities, bars or after sporting events.
  
• Get involved. If you see a male friend using pressure of force with a woman, don’t be afraid to intervene. You may save the woman from the trauma of the sexual assault and your friend from the ordeal of criminal prosecution.
  
• To help stop rape, speak up when you hear others use sexist language and make degrading jokes about women.
  
• The next time you see someone demeaning a girl, speak up. Being grabbed in private places, being brushed against, and having body parts commented on disrespects and demeans women.
  
• Think of girls as people rather than objects. Reject stereotypes that teach you to regard women as sex objects.

• Ask yourself how sexual stereotypes affect you attitudes and actions toward women. Don’t buy into sexist stereotypes of men or women. When sexes are not thought of as equals, this thinking perpetuates sexual violence.
  
• Recognize that degrading images of women in the media are linked to violence against women.
  
• Avoid clouding you judgment and understanding of what another person wants by using alcohol and other drugs. The fact that you were intoxicated is not a legal defense for rape. You are responsible for your actions, whether sober or not.
  
• Seek counseling or a support group to help you deal with feelings of violence and aggression against women.